Counting the weeks

Excuse the lined paper. I know the other book is here somewhere but had to find something to use. Can add in later. I'll find it. Hope Trashley didn't get her hands on it. Shit. All I need. No, it's somewhere but this is so bringing me down, will be fine. It's all so petty, really, just words on paper when there is such a big picture and huge forever and so much ahead, just overwhelming in its wonder. Not so long to go. 10 weeks? Something. Screw calendars and little lines and numbers, life is so much bigger than lines and numbers but we are all so chained down to the little numbers and lines and the letters above and below them. So sad. So few of us still hear the voices telling us what we'll be.

Countdown to the money. Thank you Dad. Get tablet. Look up what kind. Clean off laptop. Like Trashley's going to appreciate it. Look up about out there, for real. There's a bus you can take. Takes you right there. So easy. Why don't we let life be as easy as it wants to be? June will be perfect, lots of daylight. Goodbye electri-CITY and all bad energy and stars you no longer see. With vora-CITY eating minds and souls. 

FantaSEA will be REALity.

Something important. What? Something important and just a bunch of whining here. Looking for something to write in and I lost it. Big cosmic joke. It'll come back to me, it all comes back eventually. To make a circle you come back to where you began but most of us don't know where we began.

Such beauty there is but behind it such sadness. A joke you cry at. When the soldiers show up it's all over. Of course she killed herself. After they shot him its her turn and she'd wish she was dead before they were done with her. She was already dead. So many people are already dead. How there is so much more that I never imagined back then. 

Bring music and things to draw with. Smoke.